shout for JOY

its december once again.. my uber favorite month of the year.. 2 of my most loved occasions are celebrated in this month… my birthday and of course, Christmas day!!! 

my birthday… though i will be year older, still, im very much excited for my birthday.. even, just thinking of the days left before it brightens my day. i will be 24 by then.. im so excited for the 24-year-old-life in store for me… i just cant wait for my birthday!! happy birthday to me!!!

Christmas day… the much awaited holiday of the year. everyone seems to be very jovial and inspired in this day. And i'll be extra jovial and inspired. why? i will be celebrating Christmas back home. after 7 months i'll be going home! yey! Christmas is really extra special when celebrated with family and friends around. i cant wait for that day to come!

…couple of years…

may 3, 2005… a tuesday… 1st day of work here in ADTX…  sir ces greeted me first… assigned to Preload team as a team member (Junior QA Engineer)… i had my orientation… introduction to the team… a bit nervous… im not sure if i can blend with them…. my first seatmate is yoyen….  skill transfers… skill transfers…. skill transfers…. then at strike of 5, i went home… too early huh….

may 3, 2007…. a thursday …. 2 yirs had passed and im still here… many things have changed…. the company's name now is no longer ADTX, its AWSystems, Inc. …. still with Preload (i just love this team =P ) but no longer a team member but already a Team Leader (QA Engineer II)…. im now conducting orientations… still a bit nervous for the new tasks and responsibilities… do have lots of friends, i think almost everyone here in the office is my friend… yoyen is no longer my seatmate, she's already in Japan… wheng is now my seatmate.. skill transfers for the new team members…. and im no longer used to going home early… =P

happy anniversary to me!!! =)

days to go…

roughly 4 days to go… i am not yet prepared, and i am not preparing though…. hehehe

come what may.. i have this faith in HIM that HE knows that i can do this and i can overcome whatever challenges that i may encounter in this new adventure… 

 i may be sad, its true… but i think all i can do for now is to look at the brighter side of this situation… lots of changes, lots of challenges, lots of friends…. good and bad… but everything will be of good to me…

i have to be strong.. i have to be brave…

JAPAN… here i come… ^_^

…losing faith…

new tasks… new responsibilities…
i dont know if i can do it…
i am losing hope… losing faith…

i know this will never be easy…
i have prepared myself though…
but i never thought that this will be very much difficult…

difficult..
that i wanted to give up…
that i wanted to have a remote and fast forward my life..

sometimes i wanted to run…
run as fast as i can to nowhere..
where everything will not be as difficult as it is right now…

but sometimes i just wanted to stay and be punched…
be punched by the situations… by the circumstances…
then everything will be alright… i will be stronger…

sometimes i just wanted to close my eyes and dream…
live in such fantasy where everything will turn out the way i planned it..
the way i wanted it to be…

i may hurt people…
they may not understand me…
but for now.. i cant do anything about it…

im weak.. i know…
im confused…
im disturbed… =(