and the countdown begins…

SHIT!!!  

few days na lang, 14 days to be exact, uuwi na ako sa beloved pinas.

mixed emo uli. 

…baliw…

“sinong dakila? sino ang tunay na baliw”

saktong-sakto ang kanta. nababaliw na ata ako. =( 

ito na naman ako sa mga weirdong pag-iisip. natatakot na naman ako sa mga bagay na wala naman akong kontrol.

akala ko OK na ako. nakarecover na ako sa mga pag-iisip na hindi ko dapat iniisip, ngunit ito na naman. sadyang nagpaparamdam muli.

sobrang hina ko ba talaga? wala na akong tiwala sa sarili ako, masyado na akong nagpapadala sa emosyon at pagtakot. 

naiirita ako sa sarili ko kung bakit ako nagkakaganito.gusto ko na naman umuwi. 

dapat kaya ko na ito. matatag na ako. db?

…scratching off the dramas…

enough of the dramas. i am sick and tired on dealing with all my self-inflicted dramas in life. i had enough of panics and loneliness. those things will only do harm to me. 

i need to get rid off all the bad energies that i have been nursing. thoughts are really powerful. 

i need to stay positive in all aspects of life. everyone has his own share of ups and downs. how i will handle my share of downs is all up to me. positivity is the key.

i need to believe in myself. confidence in oneself could help ease all the bad energies. i need to keep in mind that i am strong and could withstand anything that will come my way! be brave girl!

and most importantly, HE is always there for me. i know that i am not a good christian. i seldom go to church, though i still do pray everyday. but then, it isnt enough. i need to bear in mind that He does not give temptations that we could not surpass and HE is always here to guide us and help us carry our own crosses. ^_^

wanted : happiness

where to find happiness? 

can i buy one in the nearest convenience store? 

can i find one while walking?

can i see one while working?

could you please help me find it? 

…

I am going home this end of march. Its a mix emotion. At first I was very much happy about it, I guess it hadnt sinked in to me yet then. But after few hours, sadness striked. Aside from the things that I will be missing here, my “ego” was hit.

But then, thins happen for a reason. I know that God has plans for me, He has better things planned for me. ^_^