under the weather

hacchooo….

cough.. cough…

 bbbrrrr…

 yes.. i am sick… =’(

…losing faith…

new tasks… new responsibilities…
i dont know if i can do it…
i am losing hope… losing faith…

i know this will never be easy…
i have prepared myself though…
but i never thought that this will be very much difficult…

difficult..
that i wanted to give up…
that i wanted to have a remote and fast forward my life..

sometimes i wanted to run…
run as fast as i can to nowhere..
where everything will not be as difficult as it is right now…

but sometimes i just wanted to stay and be punched…
be punched by the situations… by the circumstances…
then everything will be alright… i will be stronger…

sometimes i just wanted to close my eyes and dream…
live in such fantasy where everything will turn out the way i planned it..
the way i wanted it to be…

i may hurt people…
they may not understand me…
but for now.. i cant do anything about it…

im weak.. i know…
im confused…
im disturbed… =(