T-W-O

2 more days left and I am leaving Japan for good. 

Everyone is asking me on my thoughts and feelings about it. And I think they are all expecting my answer to be like “ohhh, I am happy that I am finally going back to Phils”. But, those answers wont just come out of my mouth. I could not force myself to utter them since I could not fully convince myself that I am indeed happy. I guess, anybody who is leaving will have the same issues.

I am becoming emotional and sentimental again. These emotions rarely surface, but when they do, they are overwhelming. I had embraced the so called independent life here. I had invested enough family-like emotions to everyone that surrounds me. I had made myself too comfortable and used to everyone’s presence. Now, I feel like leaving my “family”.

I have been trying to mask those emotions in these past few days by not entertaining the thoughts that I am leaving, thinking that it might change the way I feel. But I am not that successful. Masking my emotions doesn’t make things easier, it just gave me some time to not feel indifferent. To make me feel and do my usual routine, which is I am not sure if it is good or bad.

I will definitely miss this life that I have lived in the past 2 years. I will definitley miss the people behind the happy and sad experiences here. If only we could do something with “change”.